9 minutes

Today I was 9 minutes late to an appointment.  9 minutes.  The young girl tried to be nice.

me: Hi, did I make it?
her: um, well, actually, it is 9:39am.
me: right, I know you have a 9 minute cut-off for late appointments. so I made it, right?
her: no, so sorry. 9 minutes...
me: um, but look at my phone, it just turned to 9:39 right NOW. And here I am.
her: sorry...rules...can't...busy...4th of july...9 minutes.

So what I'd like to say today is PAY NO attention to my eyebrows.

I cleaned out my closet last night.  Huge tubs across my bedroom floor:

• fits me
• too big
• too small
• really too small / no chance in hell this will ever fit even if I eat SSHE for a decade
• really too big /  give away
• give to your mother
• why in heaven's name did I ever buy this I don't care what size it is

And then this spectacular pile emerged: the,

wait for it,

• didn't fit me in May but fits me now pile!

Oh yeah, apparently 16.8 lbs is enough to make quite a pile when you own every size like me.
OH heck yeah. Can I tell you just how awesome it is? It's like getting free clothes.  Clothes, for free. That I picked out and actually like. WOO-HOO.


(wearing Andy's Batman sunglasses to hide my unsightly eyebrows)